Monday, October 28, 2013

How is your "NO" doing these days.  Does it feel crunched down by resentment and self control, or is it full freak flag flying hanging out the window.   Some of us can say no without the blink of the eye while others keep adding to their plate unable to reject even the most mundane of tasks.   I am not particularly good at saying "NO".  Even my no's are maybe's really.  "I can't do that right now but keep me in the loop."  Is it because I don't want to miss out on what is happening or am that desperate not to disappoint.

My freshman development is tackling this subject.  There are 22 bright faced ladies ready to learn to say no.  How would it change the world if we taught our daughters how to set boundaries enough to not follow in our overwhelmed foot steps.   For them to be able to say 'wow that is a great idea but I can't help, or just the simple 'no thanks'.  

We feel the need to explain why we have to say 'no'.  Can't we just say 'no'!?  What will happen if we just say 'no' and leave it at that?  No. 

There certainly is a time to say Yes.  One can not be an island on to oneself without collaboration and community.  However at some point even the most well meaning person gets over the top and stops being effective at getting anything done with quality.  

Usually the first thing to go is the personal time for exercise, friends or self actualization.   The 'yes'  person gets resentful of even being asked one more thing, no matter how small, and then chides them self for getting upset at such a simple request... I must be able to add more in somewhere.   

Is it the person who is asking fault for having the audacity to ask or is it our fault for not tactfully refusing.  What will the consequences really be if we say "no thanks".    

No! Not now, Not ever.  Not interested.  @#$# no. Just practicing.  

So while we do this unit on 'no', I will try to impart some wisdom and maybe, just maybe learn a thing or to.  So next time you ask me to join your team, take on a project, or just get you a glass of water... don't be offended if I say no... be proud.