Today is our 18th Anniversary. 18 years, old enough to go to war, old enough to vote, old enough to for many things. 18 Years ago today we jumped feet first into this partnership to create a life. Lord knows, when we did this, we were not thinking 18 years down the line, we were just trying to figure out what to do minute by minute. We were working to take two separate lives and combine them in one bathroom, one kitchen, one bank account and one closet. Not an easy task and one that naturally takes years and is always changing as the characters within the relationship change.
I think back over this time and were we find ourselves and there are a few things that stand out, our understanding of what each other needs to be happy, our laughter, and our freedom to be.
Firstly, we have learned what each of us really needs and what we can provide for each other. We have learned that if we spent our entire lives measuring this for that and trying to be even and balanced it would make neither of us happy. I know he needs his time to bike and I need my yoga and garden. The best part is that not only do we know what each other need, we want to give it to each other and we go out of our way to make it happen. There is no way I could have done all the yoga I have done without the help of my partner on this journey. Just as there is no way he could have biked the miles he has without me being there for him.
Another great thing that stands out is humor. You know how people joke around about the people you would want on your team if you had to go off into the woods and survive on your own. You know a hunter, a fix it dude, a gardener, medical professionals, etc. Well my husband provides one thing that people don't think about but is an essential element. Entertainment. He is terribly funny. Just straight up funny. He can get an entire group of people laughing and it comes natural to him in most situations. I never lack for a good laugh and being a person from a sarcastic culture humor is as necessary as air to me. Having humor in my life is a gift and again I am grateful we have created a world that is full of laughter.
The last item that stands out in our relationship and world is the freedom we give each other. Some of it is born of necessity as we have two young kids and no family within a 11 hour drive of here. But it is also the understanding that we each need freedom. I have been in relationships where my partner was jealous and I have felt restricted by the his expectations or judgments. I am happy to say that we understand that each needs freedom and we actually encourage each other to have it, albeit be a business trip, visiting family, trips with friends or just nights out on the town. I know he needs his boys trips and I need my music festivals filled with sweaty hippies. We know the other needs the time to enjoy being who we are and we encourage each other to be who we need to be. Neither of us is trying to hold in or squash the others free will and growth. We both know that if we don't individually grow we will not grow together either.
So this post is a way of saying Happy Anniversary Darling. I am happy you are my partner and love. Lets keep winding our path together.