Who's Mother's Day is it anyway?

Mother's Day is a sort of conundrum.  Firstly it is a day to celebrate your Mom and all she is and does.  As you grow up this is expressed in different ways.  Some times with cute little gifts you made in school and some times with pre-pubescent angst and reserve. Yet you know deep in your heart there is no one like your Mom.  

Being a mom or dad means at any one time your internal monologue just might go in this spiral: 

"There are too many unmatched socks.  Where do they come from?  That is it!  The boys can only have one type of socks.  Everyone is only allowed one type! They are all going to have to choose.  What about silly sock day?  Crap.  They can wear each other's socks on Silly Sock Day.  No, that will not do.  Wow... next year Jordan will be in middle school and Joel will still be in elementary... Jordan will have a whole new round of activities to do.  We are going to be so busy.  It will be that way till they are through high school.  Oh my... then Jordan will be in university....  puu puu puu... God willing and the crick don't rise...."

I mean at any time.   This means you are always aware of some other persons needs and wants beyond a partnership to the point of codependency.  You are guiding, fulfilling, teaching, recommending strongly, suggesting, enforcing, providing, mentoring, and down right putting your foot down until you are blue.  You are shopping, procuring, paying for, driving, enrolling, supporting, clearing, washing, and cooking until you are exhausted.    Yet, you are also hugging, snuggling, watching with pride, giggling, feeling, and always loving and being loved.  

As a child you look to your mom on Mother's Day and know this day is all about her.  It is for her to relax and feel the love returned by her family.   Then the strangest thing happens... you have your own family.  Then what?  Who's day is it?  Is it about my Mom or is it about me....  Families all over the Mother's Day celebrating societies are all dealing with this very question and reacting in different ways.   

In my family my Husband is a 'Rock Star' on Mother's Day.  He takes care of all the stuff that needs to be done and clears the way for me to chill and just do what I like.  This year I started with flowers a new case for my iPad mini, and little hand made stuff from the boys.  Then I went to Hot Yoga where I thought about what this day means to me and my kids.  Got home and my husband greeted me with lunch ready to go.   

Later this afternoon the boys and I will go to a Rock and Lapidary Show while my husband gets a short bike ride. He is over 60 days in a row and working to keep the streak alive. As a family we will certainly take Teddy out for a nice walk and will have dinner at a favorite Chinese restaurant.    All is grand for me. 

Yet I live 910 miles from my Mom.  My Mom celebrated Mother's Day on Friday evening with the rest of the family.  My sister and her wife are up north trying to enjoy their Mother's Day in a family unit where there is two Mom's and thus it is even harder to pamper the other on this day.  

I can't be with my mom today which brings me some guilt and sadness.  Sadness because I miss her and wish to honor her.  Guilt because I get my day, uninterrupted and fully to myself.   I don't have to share.  My kids and husbands efforts and attentions are all mine.  

So to honor my Mom I dedicate this post and share these photos.  I say Thank You Lily Flacks for showing me so much love, adventure and beauty in the world. Thank you for always being there... and I mean always.  Thanks for never giving up on any of my dreams until I was ready to move on to something else, and then letting me move forward.  Thanks for being the best Safta my kids could ever have and for sending that same love and energy to my children as you have always done for me.  Know you are loved, appreciated and honored. 

Love the Missouri Clan.  

Liberation... are we ready?

Are you ready?  If offered the chance for liberation would you take it, or would you pass it up because you were not ready for freedom.   Are you ready to grab it and be a leader.    This is the question I pose to you all in reading this.  I am proposing a problem, a solution and an opportunity.

Bathrooms can be disgusting, non existing, or just inconvenient. Think music festival or hiking through the woods, or gas station bathroom.   You get to the toilet and it is somewhere in the spectrum of horrific, rank to questionable.  Your options are... hold it till you explode causing bodily harm or try to hover over the mess hoping that your leg muscles are strong enough. Maybe you are short like and me and you wish that your legs would grow a few inch's so hovering was even an option.  You might actually have to fully sit on it and think happy thoughts diverting your mind from reality.  Yet you rise from the seat feeling slightly violated. 

What if, there was a little item that you could use, disposable or not, that would allow you to pee standing up.  No need to squat, or hover. In fact you could belly up to a tree like many men do, not risking embarrassment or censure. You would not show your body, or pee on your leg or skirt or pants.  

There are various products on the market ranging from funnel like items to ones with more of a trough.  There are disposable products, silicone and hard plastic models.  Some require you to take off more clothing and some just slip into your pants letting you pee with just unzipping of a fly.  

Stand to Pee.  Do you want to stand to pee?  Maybe your immediate reaction is no way people will think I am a dude.  What if you were not the only lady doing this.  What if you were inside the Port - o - Potty and no one saw you stand to pee.  Would you do it then?  

In order to bring on this liberation we need to cultivate it in the minds of the woman.  Liberation needs to be accepted to be real.  You can't offer someone something they are not ready for and be offended by their rejection.   How do we liberate women's minds to accept this freedom.  Are we ready to join men at the tree...?  Or do you need to slog through the muck for another generation or two? Who's with me?

Most likely to...

I went to a very prestigious business school and was voted the most likely to reenact Woodstock.  Not most likely to succeed, get my Mrs, get a job, no... it was most likely to re-create the quintessential music fest of the time of love and rebellion.  Yet I got the high achievement awards in both of my double majors so I was taking care of business and taking names.  So, apparently I was going to reenact it however come out in the black and make sure there were enough bathrooms.

So each year I head off to my escape from adulthood, parenthood and all other hoods.  A music festival in Northern Arkansas is my destination.   I am notably in the older crowd and thus camp in upgraded tree lined areas.  I find myself not quite in the middle of tent city, but still grinding with the peeps.

The only problem with the scenario is I am a bit of a musical barbarian.  I enjoy a sound, a funky groove, a feeling, a combination of sounds, however I rarely listen to what is being said and never remember who I am listening too.  I eventually will recognize the sounds of a band.

So when I am faced with a five day stretch full of music,  6 stages going almost around the clock, it can be a little confusing.  Each year I try to research bands based on the schedule to at least have some, must see's, picked out.

This year my husband is helping me.  He started to create a spotify playlist with a couple songs from each band we like.   As he does not get to come to the festival, this is also a way for him to experience the fun of the groove.   I have not really gotten into spotify before this for the same reasons I need to, I am a musical barbarian, and no name memory makes it hard to look up bands.

So we have been going methodically stage by stage day by day starting with the closest stage and working out.  Wow.  This world of automatic access to everything is unbelievable.  The Waka '14 playlist is a wonderful thing, up to over 100 songs and only part way through day two. At least I will have this as a memorial of this great year's music selection.

The ability to become educated and proficient at any subject is so within our finger tips.   Any subject or area of interest is within our phones, tablets and even computers waiting discovery.  No longer are we limited by our weaknesses or lack of access to knowledge.  Not saying I don't need to listen to this several times to drill anything into my long term memory.  

Does this mean I have to reenact Woodstock because 'I can do anything I want'... or does it mean I can do anything I want because I can reenact Woodstock, if I really wanted to...  I think for now I will just settle for a new bunch of sounds and some chill time to look forward to. Woodstock may have to wait a bit yet but I'm not ruling it out.    

 

Contributing Factors

"Life is contributing factors" said a very good friend of mine, just when I needed to hear it.

Sometimes in life we just feel like we are overloaded with factors that contribute to our inability to do things or accomplish goals. This has been the story of my last couple week.   I could spend my day listing all the road blocks and obstacles that ended up in my way, however what good would that do.  On those days where we are just over the top with issues of health, family, work, school etc. we have two choices:

1) Fight to go beyond all the obstacles to accomplish the goals no matter what. 

2) Let the river flow and accept that the universe may have other plans for us than what we wish.  

The real challenge is in knowing which path to choose.  The majority of the time I choose number 1. However on those rare occasions when the deck is just too stacked against me I have to give in and go for door number 2.  

So this has been my world over the last couple of weeks.  It has been an entire week since I did hot yoga.  Not sure that has happened for many months.  The combination of hip pain, Passover, visiting friends, work overload, and family commitments pushed me over the edge.  I got to the point where there was just too many factors for me to ignore the message from the universe that said "SLOW DOWN!!!!".  Something had to give and it was my personal needs.  

To add to the situation it is currently Passover which has necessitated me to go off course on diet.  In the Jewish tradition we have two Passover dinners that include lots of wine, food and discussion.  This is one of my favorite holidays as it really makes you think about the things in life that hold you back and keep you from your personal freedoms.  

So at these dinners I drank wine and ate some sugar.  Each time I drank wine and ate sugar, even in small amounts, my feet would swell and I would feel fatigued.  The next morning I felt even worse as if I was running up hill all night.  Sustained deep sleep was hard to achieve and overall I felt mildly poisoned.  Some of this was natural exhaustion from contributing factors like the hard work of making a dinner for 16 people but most of it was directly attributed to input and output of the body.  

It has been two days since these dinners and I am just now starting to feel like I have some energy back and can go back to my yoga practice. I have learned much from being off the no-sugar wagon, so to speak.  I felt like my mind was cloudy, my body was sore, and my spirit was low.  The moral of the story is I need to stay away from sugar and other contributing factors.  

What this has all meant for my challenge is that, I finished up my challenge two hot yoga's short of the 30 in 40.  I stuck to the gluten free and the blood sugar maintenance diet. I felt tremendous movement in my goals.

Now that my overload is behind me I am back on track and will consider what the next goals should be.   I certainly have every confirmation that staying away from sugar and gluten is essential for my progress and my personal freedom.  

Bikram check...

Hot yoga's most notable practice is Bikram, named after Bikram Choudhury, the first to patent and franchise the practice of Hot Yoga. He has been doing his system since the 1970's, however in the last few years hot yoga studios have popped up everywhere.  He is also the uncle of my yoga practice creator Sumit. 

Bikram is a 90 minute practice that is at 105 to 107 with a humidity of  around 40%.  The practice has 26 poses and it starts and ends with a breathing exercise.  The class is 100% poses, so no flows.  There is no music and they don't open the doors to let cold air in.   It is known as a serious challenge and people seem to either love or hate it.  I sort of feared that I would try it and find that I had been kidding myself all along thinking I was strong.  

So I took the kids to St. Louis for a couple days over March Break, (what Canadian's call Spring Break... Eh.) My folks were with us, so I had help but I also knew it was going to be a stressful experience.   So I planned to do a hot yoga on the second morning.  There was a bikram about 10 minutes from the hotel.   

The night before the practice I slept terribly.  I was in a Hampton Inn with my own room connecting to my folks and the kids.  I should have slept like a baby.  But I did not.  I was worried about doing Bikram.   I got up early when I heard the kids jumping around in the next room.  I got into my yoga clothing and got ready to head to bikram.  

When I got to the class I greeted the instructor and told her I had not done Bikram before but did have experience with hot yoga.   She gave me the run down and sent me towards the rooms.   She was very kind and I think her name was Deanne. 

When I got into the room the first thing that hit me was the smell.  Bikram has carpeted floors.  This seems like a very faulty plan for a class where you sweat and sweat and sweat.  I could tell they had tried to keep it as clean as possible but the fact is carpet absorbs liquid.  So as you got closer to the ground you smelled it more.   I got used to it rather quickly, which surprised me.   

So I found a place in the first row by the mirror.  A couple of nice people came up to me and recommended I move to the back if it was my first time.  I thanked them but said that I liked to be by the mirror to help with balance.  So I set up and waited for class to start.   

The class followed the same flow through the body as Sumits does.  It had many of the same poses but of course without the flows.  It had a nice starting pose that was for breathing and I enjoyed that.  The poses were often held a little longer then I was used to and required much strength.   

By half way through the class the instructor, with a little reassuring wave from me, realized I knew what I was doing and she did not have to outline things as much.  By the end of the class I felt great.  I not only made it through, frankly I made it through strong.   I took my usual amount of breaks but nothing out of the ordinary.  

Overall I would say it might be a stronger strength work out from holding poses, but it is by far a less strenuous cardiovascular work out then Sumits.  The flows really get my heart up and help me feel like I am getting the exercise I need.  I am not saying I would not do Bikram if given the chance, however I would say that I feel very thankful that Sumits is the club in my town.  

After the class the instructor told me I was very flexible and had a very strong practice. I then admitted that I was a Hot Yoga Junky.  She was very kind and I would recommend people who wish to try Bikram do so in Chesterfield Missouri. 

Call Me Spring... Maybe...

My youngest showing my dad his tree pose.  Cutie.

Well we are now officially in the spring in Missouri.  One day warm and windy the next cold and windy.  Our  forecast looks like we are commitment 'phobs'. We are scared to really give up the cold, scared to take on the warmth and let ourselves start to bloom.   A few more days in the 70's would sure help out.  

The garden plant starts are growing on trays in front of the kitchen sliding glass and are reaching out for those rays of light so lovingly sent by the sun to sustain our planet.   The ground might just soften up and warn up enough to plant these babies some time soon.

The yoga challenge continues.  I am now 20 days into this 40 day challenge and I have done 16 hot yoga classes and am thus on track to make the 30 in 40.   I actually had to take a few off last week due to some normal life events that kept me from focusing on myself.   No big deal and still on track.   I really like doing challenges this way as it respects that life happens and one must do the best they can but can not be perfect. 

The gluten free has been really easy to add to my sugar maintenance diet, which I have been rocking since January 14th.   No wheat and staying away from gluten is not so hard when there are so many cool products and options out there.  The sugar maintenance diet does not let me freak out on carbs anyway so it has been rather easy to drop the gluten.  I am happy with rice and quinoa and the occasional gluten free bread option. 

I feel like there has been quite the progress concentrating on my core.   I continue to lose weight, seeing the difference in my clothing and my practice.  The weight loss seems to be focusing somewhat on my core or belly which has been a trouble area for some time.  While I would say I have an hour glass figure as I  have gotten bigger and older I seem to have developed this Mother Earth belly that made people question if I am having another child.   So to see progress here is quite the miracle.  

My husband commented that my mind is even faster.   I have one of those very active minds that are constantly multitasking and sits two sentence ahead on many conversation.  I try to slow down... really I do.   Yet, I would have to agree that I have more energy and more drive to go along with a little more clarity.  Today I went to hot yoga at 9:00, then my husband and I spent 5 hours emptying out our garage of 15 years of crap. After sorting through it all I cooked dinner for 7 people, and then at 8:45 at night was considering hitting the grocery store. Either I have developed more energy or someone slipped me something in my decaf coffee.  

So I would have to give the two thumbs up to the gluten free, sugar maintenance, hot yoga combo.   

Lululemon Hot Mat Product Review

Lululemon Hot Mat Review:

Hot Mat at Lululemon shop

Sorry Lulu but this is an epic fail.  The product in its self is a great idea.  I love the colors and the thought of a mat/towel that can be used on it's own or on top of your existing mat.  It is made of a cool fabric that helps with positioning and anti-slip to a point.  The problem is that the material is glued onto a layer of rubber.  The rubber has the most terrible smell.  One of the big things about yoga is breathing and if you can't breath deep because your mat smells like toxic death then there is a problem there.

The mat is washable as it is advertised as a hot yoga mat.  Anyone who does hot yoga knows you sweat like crazy and have to wash everything ASAP or you will be disgusted by your own smells.  So I figured I would try to wash the mat a few times and give it some air out time.  The problem with this theory is that everything that is washed and dried with the mat takes on the terrible rubber smell.  Towels, clothing all end up smelling like toxic death to go long with this mat.

Another draw back with this mat is that while it gives you this great anti-slip texture to stretch on, once it goes beyond a certain level of saturation with sweat you can slip off it really easily.  Of course you don't find this out until you are in the middle of a difficult flow pose.  Several people I know have taken to using this mat for the first half of class and then trading it out at the first slip and slide experience.

So what does Lululemon have to say about their product.  A friend contacted them about the slippy aspect.  They indicated that maybe she had sprayed it with oil in cleaning the mat and should try to avoid that.  While that may have happened to disinfect her mats it has not happened with mine and I also have experienced the slip and slide effect.

I contacted the company and was told that all their mats, hot or not, all have the same rubber smell and people usually get over it.  They suggested that if I lived in a safe neighborhood I should air out the mat on a porch for a few days and see if that helps.  The problem I have noticed is that as the yoga room gets hotter the smell becomes more intense so I have little confidence in the air it out theory.  However, I did leave mine outside yesterday all day and so far I have cute little puppy prints to show for it as my dog decided it was a great place to hang out.

A student of mine suggested washing it with vinegar as that helped her with the same mat.  I will try that after I use this mat again today and see if it helps.  The company did indicate that I can take the next step to return the mat if I can not get used to the smell.  I feel sad to have to do it, however I am leaning towards it.  Frankly I expected a better product from a company that is known for higher price quality yoga gear.

So, I like the mat in theory with it's anti slip capacity, until it gets too saturated, however so far I would have to give it a fail on my ratings.  The smell is something I don't think I will be able to get over.  Frankly the company needs to take the steps to air out the product before it is sold to the customer.