Sending Strength

This picture is of the Northern Lights, off my back porch, in Columbia Missouri. February 5th 2014. 11 pm. Strength from the source.

You ever have one of those nights that you think is going to be a normal type of thing and it ends up being full of transformational drama.  Well I had one recently.  I was getting together with some lady friends, as I tend to do about once a week.  I had not seen any of these particular ladies in a while, some for weeks and some for months.  We were excited to hang out and enjoy each other's stories and lives.  

By the end of the evening one would reveal a major health trauma, one get faint, one would get drama dropped in her life unannounced and one would reveal a secrete so painful it would trump the lot.  Was it exhausting and draining and traumatic? Was it wonderful and bonding and revealing?  Yes and yes.  

For privacy and sense of kinship to my sisters of another mother, I will not go into the details but for the following tails:  

There was a bird that was strong and lean and muscular. She had strength and youth and joy.  She liked to jump and fly.  One time she jumped a little too high and flew a little too close to other birds and she clipped her wing. She did not think it serious and discounted the injury. She saw the marks on her body.  Knew there were concerns.  This was her body to take on her journey.  She wondered how her body would progress and wondered if she could keep flying so high and jumping for the sky. 

There once was a flower.  A flower with a passion and a dream.  A flower that worked so hard to build her world. She wanted grow strong, always facing the sun, planting strong roots.  She turned towards the sun.  Breathed deep of the soil. Drank of the wind.  Her very survival required her to pull the bees and bugs to her.  She worked so hard she did not have time to focus in and take care of her stem and roots.  After a time she bowed under the pressure of the wind and wondered if she had the strength to achieve her goals.  

There was one dog.  A dog that loved it's pack often beyond what she should.  She would make sure all the families had water and food.  Some times the dog would care too much, maybe even work too hard to keep everyone safe and happy and close.  She would get drawn into drama through habit and loyalty to those she had known through time, always seeing the good in them even when it was questionable. Yet, some times, some times the most generous of dogs can get bitten by circumstance when they are caught unaware.

There was one star.  She could look through space at time as it changed.  Watching bright stars as they changed, exploding into galaxies.  She could see a star close to her.  One she had known a long time.  The star was moving towards explosion and she knew that the explosion would surely rock her foundation and world.  She could not stop the hands of time, or the progress of the heavens.  She watched into space as time unfolded.  

As you can imagine I was rather blown away by the experience. So the following day I did yoga and thought how to help the star, and dog, and flower and bird.  I had talked to some family and friends about some of the tails and what stuck was to visualize the situations in their possible good conclusion and send that out to the people.  However, for some of these stories there was no clear good answer.  No fairy god mother or magic wand that would fix these situations.  

So as I did yoga what came to me was the concept of strength. What ever comes for the star, or dog, or flower or bird they will all need strength.  Strength to go through what they must and to make it to the other side of their challenges.  If they all send strength to each other the chances are much better together then apart, and maybe they will all make their way through the labyrinth.  

The End is only the Beginning

I made it through my first forty day challenge.  I did 30 hot yoga classes in 38 days with two days to spare.  I also kept to my 5 day miracle diet with no extras for that full 40 days.  So no sugars, alcohol or chocolate etc. have passed these lips since that day back in January when I started my push.  I even went to a dinner with my husbands company and stayed away from fantastic desserts and goodies. I have stopped craving sugar.  I can't remember a time that I did not crave sugar.

I have definitely lost weight and feel stronger each day.  I know that my clothing is fitting better and I am fitting into some older clothing that had not fit for a while. I tried on a jacket this morning that has not fit since before I got pregnant with Joel and it is still a little snug but on it's way.

So the end of one challenge necessitates the next.  I am going to take this week to figure out where to go next.  I plan to keep with the 5 day miracle diet but change it in some ways to help my process.  I also plan to do another yoga challenge to go with this next 40 day diet challenge.  I have been researching Gluten and may choose to do a forty day gluten free.  I will keep you posted on this.

The challenge will start next week when my husband is back from his business trip. There are many people that have helped me on this continuing journey.  Some are at Sumits Hot Yoga Columbia, and some are closer to home, in this case my husband.  I want to thank him for all the help he gives me in making it to my mat and in encouraging my efforts towards a healthy life.   This process takes time and Money and he has not begrudged me either.

Now on the yoga side, here is the scoop I have been working on during my practices for the last while.  The question is "Is balance internal or external?"  For over a year I have been doing yoga mostly with a view of a mirror that allows me to focus on something, albeit myself or a certain point on the wall.  However, how does this work when the focal point becomes internal instead of external.  Instead of relying on that outer point of focus I am trying to bring the focus inside.

This is never more prevalent then during standing poses when you need your balance to keep upright.  I have to really work at turning it inside and keeping balanced within my space.   It is extremely rewarding when it works well, yet it is quite challenging to do.  Controlling the breath helps as well as that is an inherently internal process.  Yet achieving balance while focusing internally is difficult. Often thoughts or motions invade the peace of balance once achieved.

I think that this inner strength and focus is a necessary step towards feeling at one during the practice.  While my internal focus increase so does my feeling of comfort with the practice.  I have less of a urge to get through it and feel more like I am purposeful moving into each position and through each transition.  I feel less like moving through the motions and more like optimizing each movement.  I wonder what a focus like this would do in other areas of my life....

So Far So Good ... almost.

As of today, day 24 days out of 40 from the official start of the 30/40 day challenge, I have done 18 hot yoga classes as Sumit Hot Yoga, Columbia.   I am feeling strong and am taking names.   However a little thing called Mother Nature is getting in my way, that and about 10 inch's of snow.  I only have to do another 12 in 16, if this snow will end I still can make this happen.

The diet has also been going strong.  I have officially been in good blood sugar for 23 days.  I have not had even a cookie since I turned my mind to doing this.  While this has left good, I do believe that a filo brownie from Addison is in my future. This diet requires you to have extras, however so far nothing has been worth it. Thus no alcohol or chocolate have passed these lips. Somehow having a short time frame has given me strength to say no to a lot of sugar.  I know, that someday, I will be able to have it again, just not now.

So to get back to Mother Natures imposed hot yoga hiatus. Saturday I could not get there as we got 1/4 inch of ice on everything.  So did not go anywhere that day.  Was able to go Sunday and Monday so kicked some yoga tushy.   Tuesday the snow started and have not been able to go for two days. This is the longest break I have taken since starting this challenge.  I wanted to do my best to do more then necessary now I am just worried about getting to 30.

To make matters a little more tentative I fell on my drive way and jammed my arm by landing on my wrist.  The compression landed in my elbow.  This is an elbow I dislocated as a child so really happy it held up and there seems to be no major injury.  The joint is sore with a little internal bruising.  So doing the flows might be a little challenging for a few days, assuming I can get back to class.

So the question of how this is affecting my body must be addressed. As you may know I don't weight in.  I find the numbers make me nuts and frankly I have too much of a monthly flow of up and down, due to cycle changes, that the number only serve to confuse the situation.  I can say that my clothing fit much better and my face looks much smaller in the mirror.  I may have even lost a chin... still at least one more to go however.

My energy level is up and I feel more in control of my flow of energy and emotions, the result of the blood sugar balance.  The normal swelling I get my feet is down substantially as well.  I am on the way to getting in charge of this situation.

I am recording my food intake and my workout's on my IPhone with My Fitness Pal and using my Fitbit to track my steps.  So far this is keeping me honest and on track.  I need to keep doing this or would be easy to go off the course and sneak snacks other then the ones I am having with my diet.  So I will keep myself honest with this system.

As for Yoga revelations, I have had a couple rather good over the last few weeks.  The first one has to do with breathing and the second one is about focus.  I will save the second one for my next post.  Just to build some suspense.  Hehe

So, I was laying on the mat taking a break, as I like to do, just relaxing and catching my breath.  I was working on a yogic breath where you slightly block your exhales to elongate them and make the breathing purposeful.   All of this breathing is done through the nose by the way.  I am sure there an official name for this.  Anyway, I was thinking on it and decided to let my body dictate the speed of that exhale by concentrating on letting my body control the rise and fall of my chest not my mind.  So by letting my body control this action I was able to substantially elongate my breathing especially the exhales.

This breathing, when done well, has a little snore sound that goes along with. This may make others wonder if you have a cold or are OK, so be aware of that. Over the last couple weeks I have gotten to the point where my exhales go for about a slow count of 14 and my inhales are ranging around 9.  These lengths are over double what I was doing before.  This also has had the most relaxing effect on the body and mind.  By cutting the mind out of it and allowing the body to do the work the mind down sifts and chills out.

While this breathing is great for the breaks, I have a long way to go to be able to sustain this in full positions.
Will report back as this progresses in my practice.

30 out of 40 Usually a C+ would not look so good.

30 out of 40.  Yup, I am recommitted and back on a new challenge.  It is kind of interesting how it came about.  I was on the phone with my friend ..., I will call her... Wowanda, I was also driving to Sumits Hot Yoga at the time.  The new semester had started and I was trying to start right by making time for me to be centered and healthy.  I digress.    So Wowanda said to me "Laura, I feel like I've gotten the work out part in line but I can't get the food under control.  What plan should I do?"

Now, Wowanda and I had been around this track a time or 10.  Each of us had multiple kids and neither of us came with a good metabolism.  So I honestly said "Wowanda,  why are you asking me, for the love of god, I can't figure out what to do either."    So we giggled about it and I went off to do my workout.  

When I got to the club there was a sign saying "30 in 40 Challenge sign up..."  Well if you know me you know I am sucker for a challenge.  I did a 30 in 30 last spring, so I knew I could do it.  Ok, my third quarter in 2013 was rather poor compared to other times, with a busy work load and a bunch of sickness running around my house it was hard to get to the mat.  To add to this the challenge started the day before so I would already be doing 30 in 39.  I decided to think about it on the mat. 

Around I went in my head and I thought, it is just 39 days.  I am not going to concentrate on what needs to be done this year or this season or semester.  I eventually came to the decision that I was going to do it, however only if I looked at the challenge in a different light, I would have to include food too.  I thought of Wowanda and her question.  What to do? 

Which diet, food changing plan, habit changing plan, etc... to do when you have done so many.  It is just so hard to really stick to things and do things on a long term basis.  Yet I was just looking at 39 days.  It is not like I would jump into a vat of sugar the day I was done the challenge.  Maybe if I just concentrated on the micro goal and not the full daunting goal.

So which food system to use? It came to me rather easily.  Back in the early 2000's I did a diet called The 5 Day Miracle Diet.  This was a system created by a dietitian in NY that wrote this book with lots of details, rules and motivation.   I did this system before I got pregnant with my first child.  It worked but required some prep.  The main point is to get your body into good blood sugar by eating often with specific types of snacks.  It also goes along with some food combining rules I have seen in other diets as well.   

I committed to the challenge; 30 hot yoga sessions in 40 days and doing the 5 Day Miracle Diet for that same time.  The diet allows for occasional extras so it leaves room for real life at the same time the work out plan allows for occasional skips so it also is flexible enough to face real life.  Of course it goes without saying that documentation is a key to success so that is in there too.  The challenge winds up on the 21st of February.  The good thing about this is, it is not a forever commitment, it is just a bite out of the pie.  Wish me luck.       

3 Videos to Help You Feel Good and Powerful on a Cold Winter Day

Today I wanted to share some amazing sources of inspiration I have recently found in the on line world.  In this beak, cold, depressing, frigid, never ending winter, many of us could use a little pick me up today. Enjoy!

1. 100 days of working out fundamentally changes this ladies outlook. This young lady inspired me.  Not just that she is doing it, fighting the fight and taking names, but that you can see the transformation in her soul as she find value in herself.  This video came out three days ago and as of right now has almost 300,000 views. 

2. Lady takes on a bully for all the larger ladies out there.  This video is a little older being from Oct 2012 however it has over 14 million views.  This lady has my heart, being a larger lady myself.  I love the message that your self worth should not be formed by a few mean voices, but by the love of many. 

3. Now that you are all motivated lets look at an active step you can take in two minutes to help yourself fake it until you make it. OK, I admit the video is a lot longer then then that but you will see...  Your body language shapes who you are. This is a wonderful ted talk that will help you on the road to power and authority.  This video has over 9.6 million views. See how only two minutes can greatly increase your chances of success. 

Repair Relationships

So I had to take two weeks off hot yoga right when I had intended to intensify my practice.  I had a back outage and then a bad plague like cold.    I finally made it back on the mat today.

I took a few extra minutes before we started to do some alternate nostril breathing.  You take two fingers on your right hand and take turns blocking off nostril sides by pressing on the side of the nose. You allow for one full in and out breath before you switch.  You stretch out the breath. All the time visualizing balancing your right and left sides and the breath.

So then I thought, what is the practice about today.  It leapt into my mind as the Sumit's practice began. Repairing Relationships.   The class was great. It was so humid that the mirrors were fogged for most of the class.  This was great for I felt I was looking through an unknown thinking how to work towards repair.  What would resonate with the ones I really wish I had better connections too.  As some bits and pieces came into view the fog let up some and then would come back in as the thoughts would be convoluted by reality and doubt.  

To put this into perspective.  As I watch most people around me are engaging the holiday  journey of travel, gift hunting, expectations and family.  Most people have a relative they are worried about seeing.  Maybe someone who disappoints or someone who is overly needy. Whether it is favoritism or alcoholism everyone is worried about some relationship they have with someone and how it will play out.  

I think of movies I love that portray this angst.  Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and When will we eat.  They are both about this holiday journey one Christmas the other Passover but funny as hell and full of twists and turns that are just close to reality and yet hysterical.  

There is so much pressure from all sides to make these days so great.  Will everyone live up to the expectations.  Will someone press a button and send you to the moon on a rocket ship of family politics and baggage only to find yourself falling back to earth and wondering if it is time to leave yet. 

I say this year we all take a preemptive strike.  In stead of working up the 27 scenarios of how Aunt Sue may end up in a tissy over the stuffing, think about one person in your family, just one, that you would like to repair a relationship with.  It does not have to be huge or a full on intervention or anything. Just a step towards opening communication.  

Think of a way to make their day.  Bring them joy. Real joy they will remember not iTunes cash kind of joy.  Not to knock the iTunes cards folks. However more of a, doing something really cool for someone, something that will make their day.  This could be bringing them a foofy coffee drink they love or a picture of you and then as kids in a frame.  Think of something that can work to build new bonds, new credibility, new friendship, new memories, new connections.  

So when you feel the anxiety dragging into your head think of the great feeling you will get when you do something great for someone and let that be your barometer.  Think of creative repair technique for your situations.  I can't guarantee that your holiday will be perfect with the best of everything and no frustrations, but at least I can promise you will feel better about your part in it.

Good luck everyone and Bon Voyage.   

Thanksgiving

Tonight at the Thanksgiving dinner table my 6 year old said that he was thankful for Sunday School. This brought a round of groans of despair from my 10 year old, not being so fond of the institution.   Joel went on to defend Sunday school and the synagogue saying "that without it how would we know about being jewish and all". 

In this same direction, In honor of Hanukah, my father sent out some thoughts about what this holiday means to him.   I would like to share with you on my blog.  With his permission here is a re-print of what this holiday means to him and the history of my family.

Last weekend I discussed with my 11 year old grandson what the holiday means to me and, I became quite emotional about that contemplation. So I decided to try and understand why I was feeling that way. Here is the story. 

I am not a religious person and my absence from synagogue for the high holidays did not bother me emotionally. My semi-traditional adherence to Jewish customs is occasionally circumvented with a delicious back-bacon sandwich at the Market. So, I was quite surprised that I started to have a verystrong reaction to having a traditional Hanukah celebration this year.

I think it was the word, Maccabees that triggered my feelings. I mentioned to my grandson that to me, Hanukah was a celebration of a small Israeli tribe led by Yehudah the Maccabee defeating the Greek army and regaining their land and reoccupying their temple, that was the symbol of their tribe’s existence. A small battle 2176 years ago seemed to have an emotional significance for me, and I have now been able to understand better why.

I was born in Scotland in 1938. For the first seven years of my life, I existed in the turmoil of the Second World War. I didn’t understand what was going on, but certain issues lodged themselves in my memory. One of these was the organization that my father belonged to and was very active in, that Jewish organization was called the Maccabeem. The Maccabeem was a Jewish sports-social club that focused on health and fitness and self-reliance, rather than prayer and traditional Jewish pursuits. The Maccabeem was closely tied to the Israeli Zionist movement and their original pledge was I think something like, “We shall overcome through strength.” All through my childhood, I must have been exposed to Hanukah where my father, his brothers and any others all compared the feats of the ancient Maccabeem with their world.

At the end of World War II, when the scope of the Holocaust became common knowledge, six million people killed because they were affiliated with the Jewish religion. The motto of the Scottish social club, The Maccabeem, changed to add, “Never Again” to the original “We shall overcome through strength.” My father was so dedicated to this cause that he immigrated to Israel to assist in fighting in the War of Independence. Shortly thereafter my mother and the three children joined him there. My father gave up a thriving furniture manufacturing business and much more to follow in the footsteps of the Maccabee. By that time, I was eleven, my grandson’scurrent age, and I did not really understand the depth of my father’s commitment or my mother’s willingness to leave behind a large family (nine brothers and sisters and their offspring’s) and all her world that she knew to follow the spirits of the Maccabee.

I remember when the Israeli government put in place the Jewish Olympics and called it the Maccabiah. My father, who was still active in the movement in Israel, arranged for me, I believe I must have been14 or 15, to receive the Torch that was carried by athletes to the stadium in Ramat- Gan and to make two loops of the stadium carrying the torch before passing it on to a wounded veteran to complete the final loop and to light the Eternal Light.

Somewhere inside me, this sequence of events has lain dormant until this year when I mentioned to my grandson that Hanukah was about the deeds of the Maccabeem more than a religious event.  

Reality caught up with my parents in Israel, and inability to earn a living, led to our eventual relocation to Canada and to my existence here.

So, it is surprising how a single word or two can trigger emotional feelings and memories long buried.

None of you have experienced this existence, but in honour of the Maccabeem, the beliefs and actions of my father, and the festival of Hanukah, I am passing on my feelings and recollections.

Chaim ben Aria