Sunday, September 8, 2013

Types of Sorry

So Yom Kippur takes the cake for types of Sorry. There is a prayer that is said 10 times throughout the Yom Kippur services including evening services, morning, afternoon, etc... It is called Al Chet which is a good name for it.  Al Chet sounds like a southerner saying what they feel about the situation.  The purpose is to help you go beyond the usual ways we have messed up.  The big ones you remember, the ones others have done to you you remember, but what about all the ones you don't remember.

The prayer contains many many many types of things you could be sorry for.  I am going to pick some and give them a try.  

"For the sin which we have committed under duress or willingly.

And for the sin which we have committed by hard-heartedness.

For the sin which we have committed inadvertently."

This is not your usual sin stuff here. This is behavioral more that situational. 

For the sins which we have committed under duress or willingly.  That sure does cover a lot of things.  Many of the sins of history have been committed under duress or so the books say.  There certainly are things I have done that I considered under duress however that does not absolve the results or actions of the situation.  One that comes to mind is having to fire an employee that you otherwise did not want to fire due to the direct command of a boss etc... The employee was no less out of a job and no less hungry or out of rent.  You may not always have a choice in your actions but you can apologize and feel the wrongness of the situation.  Maybe even learn from the situation and realize that the employee may have been the warning that you may just be next.  

And for the sin which we have committed by hard heartedness. Once an action is done it is done, however at times we do consider the level of our heartedness in the situation.  There are those people one has no patience for.  Maybe that person is a family member, spouse, work associate or a child.  However the person we are usually most hard hearted to is ourselves.  We may give and give to others until there is nothing left, however then there is nothing left for ourselves either.    Self doubt is such a strong little monster sitting on ones shoulder, making us make poor decisions about food, exercise, careers, etc etc the list goes on and on.  Maybe an apology to ourselves is in order too.   

For the sin which we have committed inadvertently.  This is a hard one.  The Webster dictionary defines inadvertent as unintentional or inattentive. There are so many things that I have done wrong and may not have meant it or may not even know I have done it.  Who does one apologize to for things you have done that you did not foresee the outcome or were not aware of actions or results.

The moment that comes to mind is when I have been fed up with my kids and said something that ends up hurting their feelings without knowing.  You can't always see peoples reactions to your behavior, especially when you are not aware your actions effected them. Another one is first thing in the morning when I am mamasauras and not fit company as I growl my way through the house till I feel better.  For these sins maybe we just need to give extra love to those around us and try to be conscious of how our emotions and personality inadvertently effect others.

Hopefully this personal audit will help with personal growth sharing and love.  Stay tuned for some more as the days lead up to Yom Kippur.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Personal Audit Explained - Shana Tova Folks

Shana  Tova ve metuka. Welcome to 5774.  Happy Jewish New Year.  What does it mean to me and why am I going on about it?

Rosh Ha Shana is the celebration of the birth of the year.  Yet there is an interesting twist to this seemingly innocent holiday.  It is not just a birthday party full with food and celebration, it is also the beginning of the yearly personal audit.   If you think of it, how often does one actually audit their behavior or their selves? One does taxes each year, maybe re-quote car insurance every once and a while, even re balances the portfolio every few years. Yet many religions have this kind of a reflection period at different times in their cycles.  It plays an-anthropological  role in the human Psyche.  

For Jews between now and Yom Kippur,11 days hence, one is to consider what they have done. One looks at any situations they might wish to bring to a close or reconcile with a nicely placed "I'm sorry" or determination to do things a little differently in the year to come. One's reconciliation is to be between oneself and the injured party not between a person and god.  This is a very human level of exchange, which in a way, has great potential to actually change and make things better in here and now.   It is kind of proactive encouragement to take care of ones personal baggage on a yearly basis. 

Of course as humans there is only so far we are going to take this and even if all one does is spend a short time considering the pro's and con's of your choices, over a yoga practice or two, it is a good investment in personal growth. Thankfully no forms to submit or calculations to do.      

Well we have just had two very lovely evening dinners with friends.  I made wonderful food that everyone enjoyed.  The kids ate the least, being too happy to play with each other to eat.  The adults enjoyed good food, conversation and some wine.  Really good fun was had by all.   This year my husband and I have been struggled with a rough cold which slowed us down a little, tossing some road blocks in the way.  Yet, with a little luck and some great project management skills, I was able to make a meal fit for royalty and a warm environment that welcomed friends. 

Now the reflection needs to start.  Here come some blogs ladies and gentlemen.