Monday, December 16, 2013

Repair Relationships

So I had to take two weeks off hot yoga right when I had intended to intensify my practice.  I had a back outage and then a bad plague like cold.    I finally made it back on the mat today.

I took a few extra minutes before we started to do some alternate nostril breathing.  You take two fingers on your right hand and take turns blocking off nostril sides by pressing on the side of the nose. You allow for one full in and out breath before you switch.  You stretch out the breath. All the time visualizing balancing your right and left sides and the breath.

So then I thought, what is the practice about today.  It leapt into my mind as the Sumit's practice began. Repairing Relationships.   The class was great. It was so humid that the mirrors were fogged for most of the class.  This was great for I felt I was looking through an unknown thinking how to work towards repair.  What would resonate with the ones I really wish I had better connections too.  As some bits and pieces came into view the fog let up some and then would come back in as the thoughts would be convoluted by reality and doubt.  

To put this into perspective.  As I watch most people around me are engaging the holiday  journey of travel, gift hunting, expectations and family.  Most people have a relative they are worried about seeing.  Maybe someone who disappoints or someone who is overly needy. Whether it is favoritism or alcoholism everyone is worried about some relationship they have with someone and how it will play out.  

I think of movies I love that portray this angst.  Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and When will we eat.  They are both about this holiday journey one Christmas the other Passover but funny as hell and full of twists and turns that are just close to reality and yet hysterical.  

There is so much pressure from all sides to make these days so great.  Will everyone live up to the expectations.  Will someone press a button and send you to the moon on a rocket ship of family politics and baggage only to find yourself falling back to earth and wondering if it is time to leave yet. 

I say this year we all take a preemptive strike.  In stead of working up the 27 scenarios of how Aunt Sue may end up in a tissy over the stuffing, think about one person in your family, just one, that you would like to repair a relationship with.  It does not have to be huge or a full on intervention or anything. Just a step towards opening communication.  

Think of a way to make their day.  Bring them joy. Real joy they will remember not iTunes cash kind of joy.  Not to knock the iTunes cards folks. However more of a, doing something really cool for someone, something that will make their day.  This could be bringing them a foofy coffee drink they love or a picture of you and then as kids in a frame.  Think of something that can work to build new bonds, new credibility, new friendship, new memories, new connections.  

So when you feel the anxiety dragging into your head think of the great feeling you will get when you do something great for someone and let that be your barometer.  Think of creative repair technique for your situations.  I can't guarantee that your holiday will be perfect with the best of everything and no frustrations, but at least I can promise you will feel better about your part in it.

Good luck everyone and Bon Voyage.